One of my clients
died and I feel incredibly sad about it.
She was a very
special woman. She was sadistically
abused from the age of three and had tremendous strength,
courage and an unshakeable faith,
despite all the trauma she endured.
I worked with her
for eleven years helping her to heal from all the neglect and abuse she had
suffered as a child. It was a shared
journey. I felt her pain when she
suffered and felt her joy when the suffering was transformed. I shared my reactions so she would know the
impact she had on me. She needed to know
she touched my heart and soul, that it wasn't just a job to me. That is what
made it possible for her to feel safe enough to reveal her pain to me.
I learned so much
from her. She was one of the most
traumatized clients I have ever worked with and I kept having to expand my
toolkit to be able to help her. I was
grateful for her willingness to try new things with me.
At one point in our
work together I was feeling stuck about how to help her overcome a particular
obstacle and was searching for new approaches to try. She was desperate for relief from her
suffering but was trapped in her self-blame and shame. That is what motivated me to go for EMDR
training seven years ago. I will always
be grateful to her for her role in that.
First she fought to
survive, then when her chance of survival was so low and her ability to
function was deteriorating, she chose to go into hospice and die with dignity.
I learned another important lesson as I struggled to catch up with her and
accept her decision so that I could be there for her and say goodbye.
