tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207351727628492131.post6526603516819548628..comments2023-09-01T04:57:39.981-04:00Comments on From Where I Stand: A Sexual Abuse Survivor Speaks OutAndrea B. Goldberg, LCSWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05256936997292653896noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207351727628492131.post-10772801791374654692012-01-04T17:16:43.343-05:002012-01-04T17:16:43.343-05:00Dear Nancy,
Thanks for clarifying. You make an ex...Dear Nancy,<br /><br />Thanks for clarifying. You make an excellent point. In my clinical practice, the survivors I have worked with have also been disproportionately female. I agree that males are taught to tough things out and I have seen firsthand how this gender stereotype and the fear of being labeled homosexual make it harder for men and boys to seek help and talk about sexual abuse trauma. <br /><br />Hopefully, the courageous men who are speaking out now, in the aftermath of the Penn State and Syracuse University scandals, will help society to overcome misconceptions about child sexual abuse of males and pave the way for others to speak up. <br /><br />As a society, we need to teach boys that it is healthy to ask for help when they have a problem and that it is safe to disclose if they are sexually abused. We need to educate society that sexual abuse does not define the sexuality of the victims because sexual abuse is not consensual sex and we need to work to eliminate the homophobia that causes so much bullying, shame, depression and suicide of our youth.<br /><br />Thanks again for your comments. <br /><br />Warmly,<br />AndreaAndrea B. Goldberg, LCSWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05256936997292653896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207351727628492131.post-36407444543770144172012-01-04T16:19:05.611-05:002012-01-04T16:19:05.611-05:00Actually, my assumption was based more on the fact...Actually, my assumption was based more on the fact that women are much more likely to seek help in therapy than are men (for sexual abuse or any other problem). <br /><br />I've had very few men who voluntarily sought help for childhood sexual abuse....most of them came into treatment reluctantly due to other issues that forced them into treatment (through an EAP, or through a DWI). Childhood trauma (including sexual abuse) was never the reason they entered treatment. <br /><br />I think that says volumes about the messages that our society gives men about their emotional sides and about needing to "tough it out." I believe the societal assumptions about sexual abuse in boys are much more likely to be in this domain, rather than in denial that it happens to boys. I've observed personally that the sexual abuse cases that get the most press coverage seem to be those of men abusing boys, not men abusing girls (which is the most common form). I think that's because these stories feed societal homophobia.<br /><br />But my comment about courage doesn't change regardless of the gender of the author...it takes real courage to both confront a sexual abuse history in therapy, and real courage to speak that truth in public.njsmythhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03208015137589789155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207351727628492131.post-89568791744012397532011-12-29T13:45:04.018-05:002011-12-29T13:45:04.018-05:00Dear Nancy,
I am grateful to you for inspiring me...Dear Nancy,<br /><br />I am grateful to you for inspiring me to highlight this survivor's story. <br /><br />It is interesting what assumptions we make about child sexual abuse. I had carefully removed any indication of this survivor's gender and you still concluded that it was a woman. I probably would have reached the same conclusion. If two seasoned mental health professionals who specialize in trauma treatment can make that mistake, what does that say about societal assumptions about the sexual abuse of boys?<br /><br />Warmly,<br />AndreaAndrea B. Goldberg, LCSWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05256936997292653896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3207351727628492131.post-51200460263175655002011-12-28T01:00:30.419-05:002011-12-28T01:00:30.419-05:00Thanks for sharing this Andrea, and thanks especia...Thanks for sharing this Andrea, and thanks especially to the courageous woman who let you share her story. As more people begin to understand the impact, I believe that fewer will stand by and let it go unchallenged.njsmythhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03208015137589789155noreply@blogger.com